Wedding Bells

(I wrote this sometime in December that I didn’t get to post in my last blog because I wasn’t updating it around that time. December 17, from what I know.)

Amazingly, for a girl who doesn’t want to get married when I come of age, I’ve been thinking about how my marriage would be one day.

This morning, while I was at the church with my mom, we witnessed a couple getting married. And all throughout the wedding ceremony—it was pretty short, I think the couple didn’t have much budget—I was thinking and imagining how my wedding would be.

The wedding I witnessed this morning was pretty much in a tight budget: no flowers down the aisle, the secondary sponsors were in different gowns, the gowns weren’t pretty much coordinated, and all. The bride and groom both looked like they’ve just turned 18. There were TWELVE pairs of principal sponsors—my mom was saying it made the marriage looked like a business—and there wasn’t much synchronization when it came to the candle, veil and cord part. It was, for me, a sort of impersonal wedding.

As for MY wedding, let’s start with the venue first. Like Mandy Moore in A Walk to Remember, I want to get married where my mom and dad got married. (And apparently, that was the same place where Aga Muhlach and Charlene Gonzales got married.) My mom and I compared aisles. She reckons St. Joseph (in Baguio) has a longer aisle than Manila Cathedral—I have yet to see both—and she smiled at me when I told her I wanted to walk down the longest aisle, with flower girls dressed like fairies are throwing petals gently down the red carpet as I walk.

Flowers. I want my wedding to be flower-ful. The aisles, the groomsmen, the bridesmaid, the bridal car, the seats… everything has to be flower-ful. I want them imported from someplace, somewhere where they grow pretty flowers, for the want of a better word to describe it. I want roses… BLUE roses. Not the artificial ones where they just spray the blue dye all over the white roses. I want those “genetically modified” to be blue. Or maybe green. My mom suggested aquamarine, and I might just consider.

See me dreaming too far?

I’m not yet done.

Gown. I want my gown to have the longest train ever. I want my bridesmaids’ gowns and everybody’s gowns—especially my mom’s—to be perfect. I want them designed by the BEST designer ever here in the Philippines. I want mine to be sexy and conservative all at the same time. The guys—and especially my groom—should wear coat and tie. But my soon-to-be-husband’s should be the best of all the coat and tie there. I want him to be handsome, and me… beautiful. I want the day to be perfect.

Everybody should be oriented on how the ceremony should go. I don’t want my wedding day to be on a Sunday. I want it to be private, only around fifty people invited. I want the priest to be someone close to both me and my soon-to-be, and… I want personal vows to be given. Ayoko ng superficial na “through death do us part” na sobrang gasgas na. Para may effort naman.

I want love on my wedding day—and the days and years after that. I want my groom to love me and see me as something he couldn’t let go, and I wouldn’t let go of him either.

Maybe I’m thinking all about this because I want love now.

For someone who’ll really love me, even just for a moment or two, to come.

But still, that doesn’t… change the way I feel about getting married. I just want someone who’ll make me feel loved… kahit sandali lang.